The Dilettante’s Garden
> Mary, Mary, quite contrary…
I CELEBRATE myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease…
observing a spear of summer grass.— Walt Whitman
I have a tendency to start new hobbies, leave projects half finished, convince myself that THIS is MY thing — to “dabble”. It is honestly exhausting and at times (read: almost always) embarrassing. Thankfully — through what could only be considered “maturity” — I’ve come to terms with my dilettantism, and with some reflection have noticed that a handful of the repeat offenders managed to take root in the rocky, overly acidic soil of my brain. And I’m PROUD of my little garden.
As much as I want to salt the earth where the withered stalks of false-starts, half-attempts, and dunning-krugers litter the rest of the garden, I won’t. I couldn’t even do it if I really REALLY wanted to. Well, at least not idiomatically. I’m mature enough to know that I’ll inevitably just get distracted researching which plants thrive in this new, sodic soil — and so the cycle continues. Instead of engaging in this endless churn and till, I’m content to continue scattering whatever seeds I happen upon, occasionally checking to see if they take root. They probably won’t. And that’s fine. At least I’m in the garden.
This post isn’t about “oh you never know what you’ll like” or “you’ll pick up useful bits from random hobbies to apply elsewhere” or whatever. I DO believe that those statements are probably true, they just aren’t important to me. At the end of the day: I like doing stuff, and I also enjoy being good at the things I’m good at. So I want to be better at the things I’m already good at. For fun. This post is simply an exploration of what I’m good at and what I enjoy — if only to force myself to acknowledge the plants which look healthy enough to fertilize.
Programming
Honestly I have always acknowledged this fella. I’ve been programming for fun and profit since I was 12, and in those 20 years have developed a great confidence and humility which effectively precludes its presence in this post. This one is probably surrounded by the highest density of decaying flora, but I have no issues with this and consider it mostly cover crop.
I will continue to tinker with computers, experiment with new tooling and languages, and forge unnecessarily strong opinions. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. The threat of LLMs’ wedge separating me from the craft of writing software is frightening, but I’m optimistic that at my core I’ll keep at it. Even if it’s just writing toy games on the PICO-8.
Music
I love music. Especially listening to music. Playing music. And dancing. And singing. I actually do “sing” in a “band” but that’s more out of an urge to be creative with friends. And I used to “dance” competitively, but THAT plant withered away many years ago (though I have tried to resurrect it a handful of times, to no success).
But with deep affection comes deep insecurities. I am immensely self-conscious about playing music for anybody. Singing for an audience is easy because I don’t really “care” about it, and don’t really have a desire to be “good” at it — it’s just fun, and I’m with my friends, so yay! But piano or guitar…yikes.
Cycling
Riding n maintenance etc
Horticulture
Given the theme of this post, there is an irony in my horticultural ineptitude. I have a nasty habit of under watering and a VERY nasty habit of allowing pests to thrive long enough to decimate whole segments of plants. But I do enjoy looking at my plants and attempting to keep them alive.